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Yeah, toys are always fun, but the real reason I like my big fat obnoxious fiance going there my big fat obnoxious fiance is to experience the strangeness of the place. Toys R Us is downright trippy. Besides the usual African Tribal and/or palsy Barbies, we also saw Reservoir Dogs action figures there, hanging right alongside Power Rangers and shit. I mean really, isn't that one of the most violent movies in the history of cinema? Doesn't a guy get his ear cut off while "Stuck in my big fat obnoxious fiance the Middle With You" plays? Do kids actually watch this flick?! And do the children of today really want to play with tiny plastic facsimiles of Steve Buscemi?? Am I this far out of touch with the culture? Shit. We also saw some really freaky GI Joe-type army dolls that were about three feet tall and had frighteningly realistic facial features. They looked like ventriloquist dolls that have been trained to kill, with speed and efficiency. I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink if one of those things were in my house!
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