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We had eggs and cheese, my world-famous potatoes with green onions and lots of pepper, bacon, biscuits and orange juice. Yum. Well, I didn't actually do the bacon. I brought Toney in for that, since it's been well-established that the preparation of meat is pushing the envelope of my culinary expertise. I guess I don't cook it long enough or something, but it always turns out limp and wet and feels like you could blow bubbles with it. Pork bubbles. So chubby man I called in my stunt chubby man double, and moved to the dining room chubby man to wave a Lowe's ad at the smoke detector, which has a big problem with fried foods. (Maybe it's really a cholesterol detector?) That's my role when there's frying going on, standing in the dining room and waving a newspaper at the smoke detector -- or simply ripping the bitch down, depending on my mood. I don't know what dumbass mounted that thing so close to the kitchen, but they should be beaten. Oh wait, that was me... Never mind. -- After breakfast we had some coffee and read the newspaper.
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