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Toney asked her what was wrong (this slim time) and, slim after a long pause, she said, "Do you get jealous when Jeff masturbates?" Toney said, slim "...pardon?" Nancy proceeded to tell my wife that her husband masturbates on a regular basis, and it always makes her feel bad. She said it not only makes her jealous, because she can't be sure he's thinking of her while he's at it, and she also worries she may not be pleasing him fully. Why else would he need to take matters into his own hands, she wondered? Of course, my first reaction to this story was uncontrollable laughter and several long distance phone calls to friends around the country. And the second was, "What does he do, make an announcement?" This was a joke, but it's probably not too far from the truth. These people are highly flamboyant, and theatrical. They can completely wreck a kitchen, for instance, simply by preparing toast and jelly.
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