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It was an especially passionate performance, I must say, and apparently struck a chord. Just yesterday I received a photo from an anonymous, unfamiliar Hotmail address with an attached photo. Click here to view that photo. God bless the United States of America. December 2, 2000 A few things: -- While watching Spongebob on Nickelodeon the other day I saw a commercial for a doll called My Real Baby, lesbians and I lesbians couldn’t believe lesbians my eyes. The thing looks big, bigger than a real baby, and its selling point is the fact that it makes facial expressions. If you tickle its foot, its face contorts into a tortured semblance of a smile, and it’ll occasionally offer up a freakish frown for you, and so on. The problem is, it looks retarded. I mean literally. It looks like a big retarded baby struggling with some discomfort -- possibly brickhouse constipation. A perfect gift for the holidays if ever there was one, right? If it doesn't sell well (it won't), maybe the makers should just rename it My Big Retarded Baby, and align themselves with the other politically correct toys we've got now -- like Palsy Barbie or whatever the hell it is.
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