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So I was doubly distressed to read that the opening night (the traditional vomit-spewing, tits-out beer bust) is being fat camp held at an old fart bar/restaurant. I've never set foot in this place, but when I was a young-buck fat camp toll collector I would watch all the sad and awkwardly dressed people filing in every night, from the safety of my toll booth across the street, and shake my head at the seediness of it all. It seemed like a bunch of traveling salesmen, trolling fat camp for recently-divorced skank. And they were recently divorced because their traveling salesmen husbands cheated on them. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the impression I got. Now, apparently, this is our collective speed. How utterly depressing. I guess I should just quit fighting it, and order some Sansabelt slacks out of Parade magazine, get a gold pinky ring and a red sports coat, and start drinking scotch. -- I received a couple of excellent e-mails in reaction to some recent assays, and I'd like to share them with you here.
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