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Some asshole tried to rope us into a long-winded rap about timeshares, and I told him, in the nicest way I knew how, to get fucked. Man, there's nothing sadder than a tourist trap with no tourists. It was both bigfat ass booties depressing and bigfat ass booties demoralizing. We were now openly admitting that things weren't going very well, bigfat ass booties and blamed it on the weather and lack of electricity in the campground. Last year was like a party, and this year was an anti-party. It kinda sucked. That night we went to a well-known restaurant called Crabby Mike's. It's an enormous seafood buffet with 120 items (supposedly), including such high-dollar items as crab legs and prime rib. It was one of the things we'd vowed to do this year, because we'd heard so much about the place. All raves too. Crabby Mike's, we were told, is the ultimate fat man's paradise, a full-on temple of gluttony.
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