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It could be prime Raymond Burr in a beanbag chair for all I care! The day that happened there'd be one hell of a party at the Compound. It would be the crowning achievement of my life! And I guess prime I now need to reexamine what I consider sad... -- Toney told me an incredible story yesterday -- the kind of tale that prime makes life worth living. She was talking to her mother on the phone and found out that her brother's wife wants to have her stomach stapled. You know, that Carnie Wilson deal where they destroy one of your major organs because you can't keep your hand out of the goddamn Ho-Ho box? Well, this is apparently a dream she's had for a long time (hey, we can't all be John Lennons), and she finally took the plunge. She made an appointment and went to the initial consultation with the doctor, and was disappointed to learn that you must be at least a hundred pounds overweight to qualify for the surgery. Since she was only carrying sixty-eight pounds of excess baggage on her ass and upper thighs, she wouldn't be able to participate.
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