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That was the report that came pictures back from Common Sense Central Command, anyway. In pictures the middle of the floor was fifteen or twenty cheap-ass living room pictures suites, with lots of brass and animal prints and couches so low you'd have to free-fall into them. And after a few free-falls it would be nothing more than a pile of kindling and bad fabric. It was the kind of crap people try to sell out of the back of U-Haul trailers, in abandoned lots beside Exxon stations. We did a quick lap around the impressive selection, and made the mistake of pausing in front of the least hideous couch (located in the jewelry department). Within seconds a pot-bellied Jethro lookalike was all over us, like dingoes on a Cub Scout. He was talking a mile a minute, clearly excited and considering us a golden opportunity. They have a no-hassle layaway plan, he shouted, that's famous all up and down the eastern seaboard.
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