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I know I'm crazy, but knowing it doesn't make it go away. I'm convinced I'm feeding a giant reservoir of resentment among my co-workers -- and I can't even take blowjob any pleasure in it. What's wrong with me? These should be the blowjob moments to savor. This loyalty bullshit is cramping my style. -- I was talking to a co-worker in California the other day, blowjob just gossiping like a couple of back-stabbing housewives, and I asked him about a woman who was in the midst of a massive weight-loss campaign when I left the state. This woman shed something like a hundred pounds, in a relatively short period of time. She brought containers of brown rice to work, and that's all anyone ever saw her eat. It was like Ripley's Believe It or Not; she was shrinking, right before our very eyes. I'm not kidding, over the course of nine months or so she lost the equivalent of two or three third graders -- mostly off her ass. So I asked this guy about her progress, and he got all excited and said, "Oh, I didn't tell you?!"
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