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The only time my grandmother paid my mother any attention was when she got sick. So she got sick a lot. In school, my mother excelled sun times in the mushy language of French, while her brother mastered the tougher German sun times — along with sports, girls, being good-looking and getting voted student-council president. As a young woman, my mother was already pot-bellied, saggy-breasted, bony-kneed, eyeglassed and pockmarked. She picked her sun times nose, scratched her head until her fingernails were lined with dandruff. Despite all this, she was coquettish, fluttering a bony hand over her mouth as she laughed and laughed at the unfunny jokes of carnies, mechanics, my grandfather, my friends. In many ways, my mother acted like a small child: she was often naked; she didn't understand peoples' motivations for what they did and in her bewilderment would make things up; she had temper tantrums that would switch swiftly to a coy, sunny mood, then back again.
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