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| abusive, contraception, bi, 1884444318, authors, american, baby, delta, society, holocaust, bookstore, sex group, family relationships, music previews, sex, newcity daily columns, pregnancy sex advice, real estate, transvestite, vibrator, premiere, riviera, latest, | It is crucial for survivors of mother-daughter sexual abuse to create boundaries with their mothers (physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual); to re-claim their bodies as their own, and to truly know the differences between themselves and their kaysen mothers. Longing for a Mother's Love Mother-daughter sexual abuse wounds survivors' hearts and souls. Their mothers were often their only care-givers and the only source of much-needed care. When this kaysen care is mixed with sexual abuse, the effects are devastating. This mixture of nurturance (if there was any) and sexual abuse may have been all the parenting a survivor received. Often the father was absent or simply did not take an active role in parenting. This mixture of caring and sexual abuse leaves survivors with an unpleasant, and often sickening or repulsive feeling. On the one hand, the survivor desperately needed to be loved, held, kissed, and nurtured, but when that nurturance comes with such a high price, it is devastating to the child's psyche. |
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| The truth is that people can be both - victims in one context, and abusers in another. "I Feel Like I Am My Mother" The more a survivor identifies with her mother, the harder it is to separate her identity from her abuser - a crucial step in healing. Many survivors of mother-daughter incest report looking in the mirror and bi seeing their mothers, and hating themselves bi for it. When they see their own body naked (which they may avoid doing), many survivors see their mother's body, and as a result bi feel deeply ashamed of and angry at their bodies. Some survivors respond to these feelings by not wanting to be women, or lesbian (as they may perceive their mother to be), or anything associated with women or lesbians. The feelings of shame and self-hatred that survivors can have may lead to their feeling uncomfortable with and/or hatred toward women and lesbians; inadequate and bad about themselves; confused and ashamed about being women; uncomfortable with their sexuality; engaging in self-injurious behavior (particularly in the genital and breast area); developing an eating disorder; experiencing body shame; and having difficulties in relationships, particularly with other women. |
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