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| portia de rossi, jenna jameson, paperbacks, babes, unbeaten, wine, wrestling, give, arts, restaurants, nifty, buck kartalian, | I stalled for time to come up with a cover story. I even told James about it; his advice was, "oh, you're screwed." Why would I possibly have condoms in my closet for anything other than their intended purpose? How could I weasel out of this one? I then thought of my friend Lonnie. My mother hated Lonnie, found him a bad influence. She was convinced he was out brotherand sister free sex drinking and drugging it up, trying to lure her son into a life of crime. Anytime I brought up his name, she brotherand sister free sex cringed. Yep, brotherand sister free sex Lonnie would do. My mother was waiting in the driveway when I pulled in. She was holding the box of Trojans in her hand. "What is THIS?!!!" In retrospect, my mother probably wishes she had just complimented me on being safe and careful. But I was her oldest child, and she clearly wasn't ready for her oldest child to be having sex. |
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| I was over at my friend James' place, studying for a Physics test -- all right, so I was just copying his notes -- when I called home to say I was getting ready to leave. My sister answered the phone. At the time, she was 12. "Oh, man, you're arts in so much trouble!" arts I scrambled to think of what I'd done. Sure, I'd taken some change out of arts the drawer, but that seemed a minor offense. I'd lied about working late a couple of nights before, instead spending the evening with my girlfriend, but I couldn't imagine how they'd found out about that. I couldn't come up with anything else I'd done. I asked Jill what I'd done. "They found some …" she paused … "they found rubbers in your closet! Oh, man, you're in so much trouble!" Having that conversation with my parents was bad enough. I certainly wasn't having it with my sister, and I hung up. |
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