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My hallucination was this: the clatter of forks scraping plates and teeth got louder and louder and louder, then the entire diner shifted. Furniture and people slipped down the angle like in an earthquake, though no one seemed to public notice. Forks and knives were flying through the air, stabbing people. And then I saw my ghost-arms rise public up from my lap where my real arms lay, reach across the table and strangle my mother furiously, pitilessly. I think public it lasted five minutes, or one. When it was over, I was shaken, but my mother was oblivious, still full-speed ahead in her diatribe. To this day, I can't let people watch me eat or share my plate. I don't like to be looked at at all, in fact, outside of a sexual context. If another person is in my bed, I can barely sleep. It's good for my job, this alertness, because I watch everything and everybody closely all the time, always looking for clues as to the underlying motivation, and that's pretty much what a writer needs to do. |
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