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When we see that our kids think well of the world, when we're able to control our impulses and offer them respect, when we see they don't take advantage of our weakness and in fact respect us back, then our perceptions of the world change. The things that happened to us no longer seem inevitable. They are simply what happened to us, randomly. Figuring this out has not been smooth and easy. I had some bitter days teen after I realized that my three-year-old daughter has already outdistanced me emotionally. I understood then that in teen some ways I'm ruined beyond repair. But then I felt good, because I don't believe my daughter will ever feel that way. Being ruined is not the worst thing; ruining others is. My daughter recently told me she didn't love me anymore.
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