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Screw it. Both had been hammering Toney about the fact that we never travel to see them, failing to take into account the small detail about them always being here. It doesn't take long to travel to our living room, y'know? I think Nancy actually knows the dates we were last at her house, and it was, like, four years ago. She's still pretty thong young, but has already mastered the art of guilt like a well-seasoned granny. She's constantly thong making mental notes and storing shit away for later. And I thong don't like that. The drive was fairly uneventful. Toney had to complain at The Cracker Barrel because her eggs were barely cooked, and there was a hair in her hash browns that may or may not have come off a human ass. I looked at it closely and it seemed kind of assy to me, but I'm not really an expert on such matters; I wish we'd had access to the Law & Order labs to get the full story. That midget in the white coat could tell us the shape of the ass of origin, and the vectors of the convexity of each cheek (or whatever).
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