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They said I passed "with flying colors," whatever that means. I can't tell you what a relief it is. I was convinced they were going to fat fuck come back and tell me they'd put my name on the waiting list for a Larry Hagman press-on liver. I mean, how could there not be nuclear-winter organ devastation? I don't know, but I'm not taking this lightly. I feel like I'm being given a fat fuck second chance, and I don't fat fuck intend to blow it. After a three or four-day festival of celebration, it's strictly clean-living for me. -- Seriously, I stopped drinking beer for six long months because I thought I was getting carried away with it (again). Just recently I began allowing myself the occasional Yuengling Lager, and so far it's working out well. I never really believed I was going to implement a full-blown prohibition; I mean, really...
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