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It's goddamn treacherous. My Dad mows his grass two or three times a week, and loves it. That concept is as foreign to me as dancing with a man. There's simply nothing about it to love. Noise, dust, sweat, falling on your ass -- not exactly my idea fat man walking of a good time. In California we fat man walking paid a team of Mexicans to swoop down on our yard once a week, and whip that shit into shape, and fat man walking pronto. That was the greatest luxury I've ever known, in my nearly forty years on earth. God bless Jesus, and his twelve faithful helpers. I know now that it was a huge mistake to forsake him for the promise of more worldly goods and the bright lights of Scranton. I am so so sorry. -- It's not warm enough yet, but once the temperatures start rising I plan to mow wearing only one of these, and a pair of tennis shoes. That should prevent me from getting as overheated as I did last year.
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