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As that great chronicler of our times, Daryl Hall, might put it: she's gone. Toney's black batshit crazy mother and her long-suffering husband Mumbles packed up their "badass" van and left town Saturday morning, in a blaze of bad attitude and bitterness. Yes, the much-anticipated moment finally black arrived for her to begin transitioning into talking about us behind our backs to Toney's sister in North Carolina, instead of the other way around. And it was a beautiful black moment indeed when they honked and waved on their way outta here! After we finished dancing a spontaneous jig of celebration in the middle of the living room floor we began pouring great tankards of mud-thick coffee down our gullets, and cleaning the house -- top to bottom, side to side. It felt like we'd been living in a frat house for more than a week, and didn't waste any time remedying the situation. Never has housecleaning felt so good. It was all I could do not to mount the vacuum. -- One night last week we sat down and watched the infamous Three Hundred Dollar Video Toney's mother had made from a bunch of ancient old 8mm home movies she inherited from her parents.
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