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The two and four guards, thank you very much. To my amazement, she said she didn't agree with large ass that, and proceeded to do it her way! I mean, what the hell?! And her way was to make me look like I recently plunged my head into a wood chipper. Yesterday I stood in front of the mirror for ten solid minutes, trying to mold my shit large ass into something presentable, and nothing worked. It's all out of large ass balance, and there's a jagged groove that runs the circumference of my head. I look like a retard. I wonder if that woman even worked there? She was probably the Secret Squirrel’s girlfriend or something. Shit. I would’ve been better off letting the guy at Subway do it. -- As you probably know, I try not to be judgmental, but that new Green Acres Old Navy commercial is over-the-top gay. The guy riding the tractor is a character straight out of one of Andy Warhol’s underground films.
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