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And she would've gone ass-over-tits crazy if she'd known I big corrected their tip. So, the kick-ass waitress got screwed, and I had something else to feel guilty about. Maybe I'll put a ten dollar bill in an envelope and mail it to Red Lobster, attention: waitress who helped the overdressed non-tipping clodhoppers on Saturday? -- Mumbles on Nancy's homemade cookies: "I tried dry dogfood when I was a kid, big and it tasted exactly the big same." -- Sunshine on her pants: "Shit, I can't get these things buttoned. I think my liver is swollen." -- Me to Toney: "How much longer?!" -- We watched an hour or so of a public broadcasting auction Saturday night, which should tell you a little about the excitement level of this past weekend. But some of the stuff they were hawking on there blew my mind, and I just couldn't turn the channel. For instance, they were auctioning off 100 gallons of heating oil.
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