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We did a quick lap around the impressive selection, and made the mistake of pausing in front of the least hideous couch (located in the jewelry department). Within seconds a pot-bellied Jethro lookalike was fatass all over us, like dingoes on a Cub Scout. He was talking a mile a minute, clearly excited and considering us a golden opportunity. They have a no-hassle fatass layaway plan, he shouted, that's famous all up and down the eastern seaboard. Yeah, in police precincts, fatass I mumbled to myself. It took some effort but we finally shook off Jethro, and we thought we were in the clear. But we were sadly mistaken. The baton had only been passed to Garrett Morris, a more-skilled deal closer. I saw Jethro talking to him, over in sporting goods, and Garrett shook his head and made a bee-line for us.
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