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| toys, ass tit, calendar, gay, bondage, porn, movie reviews, hobby photography, first, smarty, black, pornstar galleries, | Why?! But my favorite find of the day was an oversized giftbox of a dozen or so pink Siamese cats, of varying sizes and postures. What in the honeybaked hell?! I wonder if the buyers at Toys R ass fat Us enjoy the occasional bottle of recreational cough syrup? It's ass fat like Eraserhead in that place! -- After the mind-bending experience at the toy store ass fat we decided to go to Sam's for some of their kick-ass (albeit emasculating) hotdogs and, predictably, that turned out to be a fiasco fit for the Seinfeld gang as well. We waited in a long line and watched person after person walking away with their steaming Ron Jeremy lunches in-hand, but when it was our turn to order they told us they were all out of hotdogs. Incredulously, I asked the woman how long it would be before she had more, and she said five minutes. |
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| Doesn't a guy get his ear cut off while "Stuck in the Middle With You" plays? Do kids actually watch this flick?! And do the children of today really want to play with tiny plastic facsimiles of Steve Buscemi?? Am I this far out of touch with the culture? Shit. We also saw some really freaky GI Joe-type army dolls that were about three feet tall and had frighteningly realistic hobby photography facial features. They looked like ventriloquist dolls that have been trained to kill, with speed and efficiency. I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink if one of those things were in my house! And there were Spiderman dolls where he's dressed up as an NBA basketball player, a ninja, and an NYC firefighter! I mean, who thinks up this shit?? We also saw an extremely realistic cardinal perched atop a plastic tree limb, that occasionally launches into a medley of old Motown hits. |
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