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Or that she killed him, and then killed herself. My last words to blonde her were "Fuck you." The day before she died was the first time my family had gotten together since my father died the blonde year before. We met at my brother's house in Orlando, and although things started out OK, by the end of the evening Mama started up her usual shit, and I, tired of it all, said the magic words. My blonde stepfather tried to get me to apologize, but I wouldn't. Mama called later and talked to my sister, and I remember holding the receiver to my ear, listening to her cry, saying she was sorry. I didn't say I was, though. After 21 years of dealing with her, I meant what I said. She was 48 when she died. It was 1981. She and my stepfather were driving home from Clearwater Beach, drunk, still wearing their swimsuits at midnight, their bare feet grainy with sugary white sand. They ran their light-blue Plymouth under a tractor-trailer, shearing off the top.
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