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Of course, we might occasionally have to burn up a few people out behind the TJ Maxx, but it's a small price to pay for what we're getting in return. I can almost taste Bert's chili plumper links already! August 18, 2003 -- Goddamn, it's a mess in here. The bunker looks like the inside of my brother's car, and that ain't pretty. (I used to worry that when he flipped on the air conditioner a bunch plumper links of dehydrated Wendy's plumper links fries would shoot out of the vents and lacerate my throat with their flinty points.) I haven't dusted in weeks and there's so much crap lying everywhere I can barely move. I'm starting to feel clutterphobic; it's all closing in on me now. You could write Please Wash Me on the lid of my scanner and I think there might be some kind of perishable in here, perishing. A few days ago Toney angrily removed a load of my clean and fluffy undies from the dryer, simply because I'd left them in there for days on end and was using the appliance as a big-mouth dresser. |
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