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Johnston New York: Insight Books-Plenum Press 18 My Seed Is in You Frank Ruggero THERE WAS A TIME when I secretly wished to be HIV-positive. I sensed within the community a caring I hadn't seen before. It took the form of the AIDS Action Committee in Boston. I thecamera my mother gave me started as a volunteer there in 1983 or 1984. I witnessed so much loving and caring between caregivers and people who were infected that I was envious. I've always thecamera my mother gave me been looking for a community that is nurturing, caring, and inclusive. But I wasn't thecamera my mother gave me infected. I didn't think I was. I didn't know. I used to think I needed to get love and affection by being sick. I don't believe that anymore. I've come to realize that a lot of the people I thought were giving love to the infected early on were in many ways fulfilling their own needs rather than taking care of others.
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