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| lovers, sexual instruction, sex education, family, nurse, interracialcuckold, father daughter incest, asian teens, anime babe., international video emporiums, girls, daughter to father poem, vibrator, funny links, chris jones, technology, biker babes, dan savage, brother fucking sister, tattoo, young, film, bukkake, | I guess I wanted to see whether I was among the dying or among the living. The first time I got a negative test result I was in disbelief. And also regret: I still wanted to be positive. I wanted to die more than I wanted to live. I am aware of my self-destructive tendencies. To tight be very honest, I have felt my life is such a mess that it would be better if I were dead than alive, because of tight the struggle. I've experienced tight a lot of despair in my life and a lot of hopelessness. Being HIV-negative means to me that I'm going to be alive for a while, especially if I have safer sex. * * * One part of my love of sex is swallowing cum. I feel as though the person -- their seed -- is inside of me, even though I'm not going to have a baby. |
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| Putting a tattoo on your wrist, like in Nazi times. I remember agreeing it was not in my best interest to be tested. Then I remember that opinion changing. Attitudes changed. People were saying it was better to know your status as early as possible, because either your sexual young behavior would change young or you would be able to have treatment early. I've forgotten which came first. It was important to know your status, or to know the status of another person, so you wouldn't infect another person or become young infected. That was the value of testing at first. But I think soon after that they were offering AZT or pentamidine. I don't know if I was really persuaded, but I took the test upon the suggestions of people I trusted. Many friends I had had sex with were dying: over 15 people I've had sex with are dead. |
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