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This was a way to keep it going. I feel differently about that now. I don't hold the same value judgment against anonymous sex as I did before. It's probably a combination of material I've read and people I've met whom I local respect and admire. And also just trusting myself. It's not smooth sailing, by any means. I have times local when the old stuff comes back. I may have local an encounter and develop symptoms the next day -- a sore throat, say -- go to the doctor again, have a culture done, and it's negative. But there have been other times when I've had anonymous sex and felt it was just fine. It's a process. * * * When the AIDS epidemic started, I was petrified. I wanted to continue to be sexually active, but it was a confusing time, full of fear. Falling into the pattern of my fear of sexually transmitted diseases, I would get tested for HIV after an anonymous sexual encounter with exchange of body fluid.
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