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I wanted to care for him in a special way. But my caregiving was patterned on the caregiving I was most familiar drunk coeds with from my own family, which was not caregiving in the best sense. It was conditional and self-serving. That's changed drunk coeds a whole lot. I am trying to figure out what the true way is for me to be caring. I have a friend now in the later stages of AIDS. drunk coeds He has had everything: pneumocystis pneumonia, cytomegalovirus, Kaposi's sarcoma. My relationship with him has been very different. I think the work I've done for myself to get at the core of my issues has helped me. I haven't been a doormat. I have had boundaries. The kind of caring I have for him is not so much to take care of him as to be there for him. The only way I can be there for him is by being wholly with myself. That's a challenge in itself, to be present with myself and my emotions, whatever they are, whether anger, confusion, jealousy, rage, or sadness.
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