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I don't know if I have a strong connection between cause and effect, between my thinking and my actions. It seems as though there's a missing link. I don't always behave the way I think I ought to. * * * Part of my nature is to not trust myself, to defer decisions to others. The people who nature were the most outspoken about not being tested were people I admired and respected, people at the forefront of the AIDS Action Committee, for example. nature They nature were strongly opposed to it. So for a while I was saying, "They must be right." There were political implications: I didn't like the lack of confidentiality, and the idea of a government agency having a list of people's names. Most of the opinions strongly in favor of taking the test seemed to be coming from reactionary people, conservatives. There was talk about quarantine, isolating gay men and keeping them on an island somewhere.
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