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Kind of self-defeating, I know, but it feels right. In the past I've vowed to make exciting lifestyle changes "as soon as the holidays are over," and it's never really worked out for me. Last year, for instance, somebody must've crept into our house while we slept, bashed both of us over the head with a length of lumber, and caused us to wake fat up with the insane idea to try out the South fat Beach Diet. How else to explain it? Seriously. I look back to that time, and feel shame, deep deep shame. fat But I was all fired up after that late-night skull-walloping, and made public proclamations to follow the fad diet to the letter. I even posted a weight-o-meter on this website, with the idea that my heft would dramatically melt away, and I'd be a prancing pixie of a man by early spring. It was to be the year of fitness, and a life-altering fork in the road. 2004 would change everything, and I'd finally cast aside the hilarious bolts of denim which had served as my jeans, and maybe even be able to tuck in a shirt by summer!
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